When I am reincarnated....I'm going to be a...?

So we have all wanted to know the answer to what we will be once we are reincarnated. If you believe in that sort of thing which I do not.
BUT FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS BLOG- we are going to pretend that I wanted to be reincarnated.

Reincarnation so no this link, there is a weibsite and it 'tells' you what your next life will be. I thought I would try this out hoping I would get a cool answer like: criminal or prince. But I flipping got this:

I am going to be Toucan and my best friend is a Bengal Tiger. She is very lucky and I am not.

So then I went onto another site that apparently, if you ask questions about your future or anything- will tell you what happens. You can find this site at this link: Crystal Ball

This was probably the funniest bit.

Well that is..reassuring. 

NO YOU ARE LYING TO ME!

DOES THIS WEBSITE FRIGGING HATE ME?

Thank you Kelsey for your great wisdom. 

The quote from classical theatre

So I am currently reading a French play called, The Cid. At the moment I am only up to scene fou of act two and I am really not sure what is going on.

Basically there is a lady called Chimena who is the daughter to a man called The Count. She is getting married to a man called Rodrigo, whose father Don Diego who was a warrior for the king, upsets the The Count and orders his boy to kill The Count but Rodrigo is torn what to do because he does not want to upset Chimena....yeah you get the plot of it so far.

SO I thought I would share some of the quotes I like from it so far.

me, myself and Jim youtube channel

So I started my own youtube channel today and I am quite proud.

The first video is shit though xD

I literally have a voice break at the end and I start laughing because I cant help it. If you want to see more of me singing- then please sub to my channel.

On another note: I can now speak in an Irish accent. Might just always speak in an Irish accent. XD

Something important I learnt

In December when I was very down and was going through my second lot of counselling, I was told something I am going to pass onto you.

Well, it is more of a story than anything.

So during the time in December I had just come out as a lesbian and I was pretty much still unsure. I also had a ton of other stuff going on which I am not going to go on about but it pretty much made my school life shit and made me collapse into a deep hole. During the six weeks of counselling, I felt very close to do some very stupid things but I never did. The point I am trying to make is, I was in the worse possible place.

The counsellor I had who I am going to name, Sue-her name is not Sue. Anyhow, Sue one day asked me: "When do you go to university to start wildlife conservation?" I literally broke down in tears and began to say: "I don't want it. I can't do it. Yet I am not good enough to do what I want to do."

Sue told me then: "What do you want to do?"
"Acting." I replied getting handed a tissue. "But I can't act after everything that has happened to me. I can't get into character or anything."
Sue: "Have you tried?"
The answer to this question was no. I thought I failed completely as a person and was not going to be able to do what I wanted to do since I was very young.

She then looked at me and said: "What is stopping you?"
What was stopping me?

It took me a week to figure out the answer to this.

However, the night I went home from 4yp I told my mum I did not want to be a wildlife conservationist. She was not very happy with me and it did lead to arguments between us. I was however, so convinced that I was going to convince her that is meant for me.

I did not give up and that night I was on skype to my best friend Emily and she watched me as I picked up the house phone and rung a drama group. You have to understand, at this point of time, I could not go into town for the fear of people speaking to me and just being in a crowded place. i forced to go out obviously.  SO to pick up the phone, dial a number when I get anxiety ringing friends, was amazing! 

However, they were not in. The next day I woke up and my mum walked in and said she got a call off someone called Edward for a group called The Four Seasons. Guess what happened? They both wanted to meet the next day. I walked in and told them a little about myself and how I came from Basildon. They both nodded and then asked me what high school I went too. Apparently, they had once in the past actually been to the high school I had gone too. So it was quite cool.

I got two parts in the play. This all came from a counselling session where I was told to do it and believe I can.

after we visited them, I applied to five different colleges. All of them got back to me but I took my place at Suffolk New. I then contacted the local theatre for an audition date and got myself into an audition as well.

The point of the story is, you should always believe in yourself and that you can do something. When you lose hope in yourself, everything becomes very blurry and very difficult to understand. You do anything you think will work and you don't want to take risks.

The best thing I had done was take the risk to become an actress. In the end my mum full supported me and is really excited with me now.  She actually admitted yesterday she see when I was about three that I was going  to be an actress.

The thing I have learnt is, I have to love myself and the dreams and the hopes I want. I need to start listening to myself.

You need to listen to yourself and love yourself. Otherwise, you won't be happy and it will only get worse from there. I did not love myself and I went down a very slippery slope. ALos if you try to lie up to others dreams, which I was doing a little bit cause my mum wanted to be a wildlife conservationist. You won't be happy.

I just found a quote that reminds me of the character I performed as in high school xD It has nothing to do with this post. 

The EPIC failures OF Jim and others

So today as my video still will not do what I ask- I am going to tell you about my epic failures.

VIOLIN 

When I first go my beautiful violin, I did not realise that the wooden 'thing' I chucked across the room was a very important part of it. It basically helps to tighten the strings. (Do not hate me if I got that wrong). Anyhow, I thought if I got my bow out and just played the violin without tuning it and sticking the bridge in, everything would be fine.

This was my face.

I actually wish I was joking- but it screeched and I literally made the face Dean (Supernatural) is making. I was horrified and looked up what the 'wooden thing' was on the internet. 

Just so you know- I did actually take music lessons in Year Nine. 

PINK FAIRY 

When I lived in Basildon I had a friend- I am making this sound as if I don't have any now. I do for anyone who is actually interested! One day we going through a park called Victoria Park. As we were walking, I noticed a group of musicals sitting around a tree. I thought it was the perfect time to start yelling: "LETS GO TO PINK FAIRY LAND! WE CAN HAVE ALL THE CUP CAKES WITH PINK ICING!" 

My friend literally stopped and looked at me as the people turned around. Stopped what they were singing to look at a weird thirteen year old dancing horrendously and flapping her arms around like a injured pigeon. 

Then what happened? One of them yelled: "YES FAIRY LAND!" 

My fiend that made face and then ran away as I grabbed her hand and started skipping. (Just thinking about this- how is this a failure? It was pure genius). 

VAMP! TRAMP!

So this park called Victoria really had some idiots in it. I really did want to put something else but I am not going to. And on this particular day there was a group of people on a climbing frame who were drunk quite clearly and trying to act hard. 

They started yelling at me and this same friend. They were yelling vamp and tramp. Such a good insult! Anyhow, I yelled at them to f*ck off and leave us alone. I scared the rest and they literally jumped from the climbing frame and ran. The lady whoever, who was yelling still proceeded to walk towards us. I stopped and watched as she continued to yell this. 

However, she realised we- or I got bored of her and went to walk off when she turned around. As she turned she smacked straight into a pole and this was literally my reaction:

I swear I have never laughed so much in my life. She turned around and gave me the middle finger and guess what happened?? Yup. You guessed it. She walked back into the pole. The funny thing is, it wasn't a light knock. You literally heard her smack into the pole. 

ACTING AS JIM 

So one day I was at the park and thought it would be funny to start scaring the shit out of my friends. It however, went really wrong. 

I thought it would be funny to scare the shit out of my friends (who are standing on a hill) and run towards them screaming. It went wrong as my friend strted screaming and as I was running dived out of the way. 

Next thing you know, I am screaming as I fall down the hill and she looks over and makes  this face:

She could not stop laughing while I lay there humiliated at myself. I made this face:

See ya till the next blog!

FOOD ALERT!!

So I am actually pissed at the minute as I was going to upload a video of me doing random stuff to say thank you for the 643 views on my blog- but guess what! It refuses to export from my app on my phone to my gmail or anything. So looks like I will have to post it way in the future!

As my plans for my blog tonight are ruined, I thought I would share what my favourite foods are. (I am vegetarian and I do eat fish).

1.TEA- I love all sorts of tea. I have about twenty different teas. I know I am fully British. My favourite at the moment has to be Earl Grey. Anyone tried it?

2.WAFFLES- I have a weird obsession over waffles at the moment.



3.PICKLES-Yeah I know.  I do love pickles though...

4.NAKED NODDLES
 The ones I can actually eat.


i think this is enough for the weird blog.

Ben Philip Pranks

I only recently found Ben Philips on facebook and everyday, I am watching him because I find him so funny. I decided I was going to put my top ten favourite videos of his on here. If you want to know who he is and have no idea, who I am going on about- all I need to say is he pranks his friend Elliot and Eliot's reactions are so funny.

If you want to watch more than these videos than this is his youtube channel: Ben Philips Youtube Channel  I find him so funny.

Anyhow here are my top ten with links. They are in any order

1. The birthday boom
2.Permanent eye brows
3.Painful Pubes (18+)
4.Gag Lock
5.Water Bedlam
6.Super Seat
7.Pigeon Patrol
8.Cremated Cat
9.Bird poo prank
10. Tattoo Prank

There is a ton more but these are the funniest.

Time for adventure!

Hey people, I thought I would do something a little different and share something about me.

SO lately, for the past week I have been watching people exploring abandoned places on youtube. Exploring with John, Exploring with Josh and Exploring with Steve. I find these videos so interesting and it just reminds me of when I was younger and the undying passion in my heart, to explore the world.

When I was younger, I lived in Basildon. There was a park near my old house called Victoria Park. It was not very big, nor very specular. But one day I went through a bush and found a a old world war two house that was in ruins. IN the middle of a Basildon park!

Obviously me and my friend, then created a 'den' out of this place and refused to tell anyone about it. Then when I moved, I needed to find somewhere I could explore. I came across a park but it was not as interesting as that.

Now I live in the middle of the country side and can't go exploring through woods as farmers like to shoot. But it brings me to the question on my mind: Where an earth can I fill my thirst for adventure?

Some of the things I have learnt about exploring is you never go alone. So someone would be needed who would share my same passion for going into random places and possibly filming it.

Acting. Adventuring are  two favourite things. They are what makes me feel alive. I would go exploring in abandoned buildings in Ipswich but there is a massive drug problem and from just looking at a person who explored a building there- it is a no go.

It is something I would dearly love to do but knowing me I would get arrested and that would ruin my chance of being an actress. So I am going to stick with the woods and other random places I come across.

If I ever do go exploring (which is very likely) I will document it. 

Homophobia

I actually believe I need to address this.

Homophobia.

For the purpose of this blog, I am going to assume you have no idea what homophobia is.

According to this site: ADL . Homophobia is the hatred or fear of homosexuals.

First, how can someone have a phobia of a person who likes a person of the same sex? When it has nothing to do with them? In my opinion the person isn't fearful of homosexuality. The hatred part? Completely agree with that, as me, myself have been in situations where people have ridiculed me or made me feel awful about being who I am.

The next point I am going to make is: homosexuality can be found in over 100 species of animals. The only animal to have created homophobia, is humans.

I received 'something' today after coming out to someone I saw as a friend. Then they proceeded to tell me it was bad and I needed to stop. Needless, to say I sent a reply back saying if they have a problem with homosexuality- which can be found in many species, then they should not contact me again.

A person who is transgender, lesbian, gay, bisexual or any other- does not affect a persons relationship and certainly does not affect someones religion. I have a massive issue with America and the bathroom law at the moment. Oh god does it piss me off! 

When I was Catholic- I use to be I am not anymore. I met a lot of people who did not like LGBT and had very wrong opinions on it. I never shared those views. I lived with a man who disowned his son because he was gay. How I would love to tell him I am a lesbian now! 

I am just looking at some maths and do you know LGBT people are  6x more likely to commit suicide than a straight person? Why? Because straight people do not have to put with this shit. My cousin who is a lesbian like me, got spat on in the street for being a lesbian. 

you know I think this is the perfect picture to end this blog on. 

My name is Mina

Hey guys. I am not actually doing a book review this time- I am actually going to be talking about someone called Mina. 

This book was written by David Almond, who wrote Skellig (One of my favourite books) and one day in my high school: after I got ditched by people and was left on my own, I came across this book. It soon became my friend. 

I then later on that year went to buy this cat:

Mina. Yes she look cute in this picture but when ever someone comes over my house I have to warn them to not stroke the cat. 

Why? My friend Anderson had the bad luck of do that. 

She started hissing at him and the leapt straight for him. 

My cat is a bloody pyschopath and is weird as f*ck. 

Don't believe me? What cat sleeps like this?

She does strange things like head butting doors for food- I was not able to get this on video as it happens about five in the morning. I will get it one day and show you. 

Anyhow, I caught my cat and how she eats. 

I am not saying anything. 

 

(I have no idea what the quality if like but basically my cat is taking food out of her bowl with her foot one by one and she refuses to drink out of cat bowls). 

Yup. I have a weird animal. 

Book Review: Mary Bloody Mary

 To start of this is the plot of the book:

This first person narrative of Mary Tudor's childhood shows the contradictions, conflicts and danger of being the daughter of a 'divorced' queen as her father falls under the spell of the 'witch' Anne Boleyn and why such an apparently privileged little girl could grow up to be such a monster.

It is a historical book and probably considered one of my favourites. I am of yet, to get the next book in the series which is called: Beware Princess Elizabeth and is told from the perspective of Elizabeth.

When I first read this book I was very unsure if I would actually like it. I am not a fan of history and do not shoot me- find it quite dull. However, this book was so interesting from the first page and every time I have gone back to it and read it: It has captivated me.

I do not want to spoil to book so I am not going to say a lot about the plot. However, if you are looking for a book that has plots and fantastic characters in and of course full of history, then I suggest you buy this book!

For someone who cant really stand history and failed it as  GCSE- it was thoroughly interesting to me and probably one of the greatest books I have read. I actually am excited about getting the next book!

I suggest reading this book for everyone.

It is so interesting and very well written!

(P.s this was my first ever book review. so it was not great!)

Positive vibe mind dump

I haven't posted this but I am on a quite strong antidepressant. I know a lot of people are on them but it doesn't mean that my mental health issue is less important than someone elses. (Getting that out there).

I am currently on fluoxetine or more commonly known as Prozac. I have had side effects, blurred vision, sleeping a lot more and feeling incredibly sick at the beginning. I was originally on a low dose but something happened and they had to make the dosage higher.

Anyhow, today has not been the best of days for me. I have been asleep half the day because I have basically felt dead and I have not wanted to live today. I refused to get up and my mum started getting mad at me before she realised there was something wrong with me.

So she literally made me go into her room and sit and watch a movie with her.

That made me feel slightly better. My mum has been there with me throughout my problems (which I am not ready to say yet) and I could not be more grateful. However, I also guess- well know I am feeling better because I have things to look forward too.

For example, I am finally going to be meeting my girlfriend (Rebekkah) on the 1st of June and I am literally buzzing. Today had been quite bad as well as other days, and getting a simple text from her will literally brighten my day up. It could be the simplest text how are you and I am fine the next minute.

I also have started performing arts again and I feel wonderful about that. I am so excited to start at Suffolk New to do performing arts and hopefully get into LAMDA. (London Academy of Music and Dramatic Arts). Plus my college, does  a LAMDA test and is in association with them. Which blows my mind cause I managed to get into it! (It is the drama school Benedict Cumberbatch went too).

Another big factor would be the fact I may be meeting Andrew Scott- yeah to people it probably lame but it means a hell of a ton to me. Why? Because when I was needing help and the doctors refused to give me help and I felt like giving up completely, my cousin went and met him. He then signed something for me and said hello. On that day I was very close to do something very silly and then that woke me up and made me realise I have got to do something.

From April the 26th (I will always remember this day) the only thing that kept me going was the thought that I could possibly meet him. It stopped me from doing stupid stuff to myself and forcing me to get help. Then when I told my family I was not going to do wildlife conservation and do acting, (I did not have the full support at the beginning, I was left to do everything). I realise I actually have a flipping purpose now. I don't care if I don't become famous. AS long as I am doing what I love, I am happy. Then I met Rebekkah and started going out with her and I don't think I have felt happier with someone. Well, I actually have never been happier with someone. She has has helped me as much as the actor has helped me. (Does that make sense? I hope so, i think I was trying to put they are both really important to me and my mum of course!).

You could actually say this blog is dedicated to my mum, Rebekkah, Andrew Scott (that sounds so weird) and me following my dreams.

I think people do not realise but you can't dedicate yourself to other people, if you can't dedicate yourself to yourself. You are never going to be happy if you can't accept yourself.

There is no stigma over having a mental health disorder. When I was having bad thoughts and everything, I always thought it was someone else in me, but I had to learn it was me having these thoughts and that I had a mental health issue. I have depression and anxiety, and it takes time to even accept that. Getting help does not mean you are weak, it means you are strong and need a helping hand to get better.

Once I started to accept myself, that is when good things started to happen. Why? Because I started doing things for myself. I started meeting new people. I started telling people I did not want my life to go that way and started going in another way.

Might have to do a blog on schools and how unhelpful they are with career advice. (if you need help with career advice email me. mollymariesnape@gmail.com and I will try to help as best as I can)

Right think that is enough for today!

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(Here is an LGBT unicorn vomiting rainbows)

The stage name (part two)

I actually never intended this to be a series of posts. It  was a one off but my mum again mentioned and tried to tell me....

Before I started,if you haven't read The stage name yet, then click this link and then read this one. Otherwise this will make no utter sense.

Today driving back from Tescos (I know so fun!). My mum started going on about my stage name:

Mother: You should call yourself Molly Moriarty.
Me: What? We were talking about an art show.
Mother: You should though. Molly Moriarty sounds cool.
Me:No. Because  initials would MMM.
Mother: Oh my god. Molly Marie Moriarty!!! Now that is MMM and awesome!

And it proceeded to carry on like this till my mum thought she would come up with a new one:

Mother: What about Molly Scott?
Me: Let me think about tha-
Mother:No please do not call yourself that.  You sound like a toilet cleaner.
Me: Excuse me! I wasn't planning calling myself that!

Just as you think she has stopped, it got worse.

Mother: Yes! I have the perfect stage name! Molly Andrew Scott!
Me: I am so worried about you.
Mother: When people ask you why your middle name is Andrew-
Me: -cause it is after the actor.
Mother: -cause I always wanted a boy!
Me: HANG ON WHAT?!!!!!
Mother: Yeah you can tell people that I always wanted a boy. So I named you Andrew.
Me: Have you turned into King Henry The Eighth?
Mother: Hang on- WHAT!!!!

So yes my mother is trying very hard to convince me my name should either be Andrew Scott (which is not happening) or Molly Marie Moriarty (Which has about 50% chance of happening).. The other 50% is Molly Scott-cause she don't like it.

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 (not a good selfie)

Every fairy tale needs a good old fashioned villain

Hey again! It is that time where I show off my most recent cosplay- wait hang on! Did I just revisit my very first cosplay?!

Yes I did.
SO we all remember this:

WIth the awful hair and the awful tie and the trousers that didnt fit me! We have to start somewhere right? 

I completely ugraded this cosplay- new hair style and new suit! 

 Yes I am actally wearing a skit with no tights.  This was the result and then i decided I was going to have a bit of fun. (This character comes naturally to me).

For no reason in particular I got a knife from the kitchen and then began to get mad at how I did not have an apple. (Cries silently). 

And the knife selfies stopped there. 

 AS tradition goes for my Moriarty cosplay- I could not resist pulling a stupid face.

 Heres a random selfie.

I had to save the best two till last.

 I actually nearl burnt myself as the paper caught on fire quite badly. I was expecting a  small flame but then I nearly burnt myself. (Well done Jim).

And here is my favourite. 

I am insanely proud of this one! 

Till next time! 

The Stage Name

The house today was strange my mum for starters started calling me Jim again. (After Jim Moriarty-long story).

So there I am about to go on a walk when my mum stops me and goes: "Molly. Are you going to have a stage name?"

Good question. What should my stage name be? The list of names I came up with, are shown below.

1. Jamie Reed- Jamie because it sounded some what like Jim and that is my nickname! 
2. Catherine Reed Andersen- She was the first character I had ever performed as and she has a special place in my heart. 
3. Jamie Reed Andersen- Cause I felt I had to put something like 'Jim' on my name. 
4. Jamie Marie- Cause I don't know. 

Anyhow, today my mum decided she was going to give me a stage name. 

This is how the conversation went:

Mother: Jim! 

Me: Yah?

Mother: Does everyone still call you Jim?

Me: I am going to say no to that...

Mother: Jim. Jim. What stage name do you want?

Me:Huh?

Mother: Like some actors have stage names. What about you?

Me: Dunno. I have thought about it but what would I call myself?

Mother:I have a perfect one. You know how your evil personified?

Me: *raising an eye brow* As you told some guy on the phone the other day. Then yes. 

Mother: Then call yourself Jim Moriarty. 

Me: I can't tell if your joking or not. 

Mother: I am not joking. I think you should. 

Me: Yup...Sounds like the best idea. Walk around being called Jim Moriarty....! 

Mother: But you are him!
Me: I don't murder people! Theres a clear difference! 

You would have thought this would have ended but my mum was insistent that my stage name should be Jim Moriarty. AS I was clearly not taking very well to this idea, she came up with something else. 

Mother: I have another one then. 

Me: Oh god. 

Mother: You should call yourself Jim Mal. 

Me:I'm sorry- what?! 

Mother:Mal means evil. 

Me:Actually that isn't too bad. 

To clarify- she was being serious about the Jim Moriarty one. She was literally telling me to use it as my stage name and told me if I meet Andrew Scott, I am to explain this is my nickname as well as stage name. 

I am starting to like it now but the real question is: Who in their right mind would use that as a stage name?

However, she did also start saying I should stick to Molly Marie or my other one- Jamie Marie. 

I think one day it will be Jim or that will literally will just be my name. 

Laters!

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Footie match

So on the 30th of April I had the opportunity to go and collect a charity fund for 4yp. They offered for me to go and I said: "Why not!"

Up till Saturday, I had never been to a football match. It had been my one goal to go to one and to see what it was like.

What was it like? It was great. I loved every single moment of it. The atmosphere was brilliant. Everyone was coming together and it as just fantastic. I had funny moments such as my best friend Kayleig (or as I call her: Dalek Bob) was talking to me and eating popcorn at the same time. At the extact moment, Ipswich (team we were supporting) scored. She jumped out out of her skin and choked on the popcorn but it flew out of her mouth. It was the funniest thing ever.

Anyhow, I thought I would share the pictures I took.

 Here is the picture of the Ipswich mascot 

Before the footballers came out- Milton Kenes and Ipswich, children appeared with flags. 

The other teams Mascot was actually scary looking. 

 Then there was this random dude. I literally don't understand football, so I have no idea why we had two mascots. 

Then the footballers appeared- my best friend Lucy managed to talk to someone called Daryl Murphy. I have no idea who this is but he was very tall and apparently Irish. Football is my weak spot. Actually, any sport is. 

Then the game started.

The one in the yellow is not Ipswich. We are in blue. I am really annoyed Jimmy Bullard decided he would stop playing for Ipswich. I COULD HAVE MET HIM!

So that was my first football match. :)

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